WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what critics are calling an inflammatory move, It was announced on Tuesday that Stephen Miller was being sent to Los Angeles to act as a human repellant.

“No one empties a room faster than Stephen,” “He’s better than teargas.”

But the plan faces a stiff legal challenge from human rights lawyers, who argue that the use of Stephen Miller violates the Geneva Conventions.

(edited to conform to board rules)