The Deuce
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The Deuce
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Sorry. People and food are blurry to me now. *
Archived Message
Posted by timmer
on January 21, 2024, 18:03:25, in reply to "
That’s was bonor. *
"
Previous Message
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Shittin’ through a screen.
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No change.
Previous Message
Day of fasting, and started after 2pm, constant shitting.
This is not going to be fun.
Sunday morning weight: 239.6lbs
Previous Message
I have hockey that night; is that pretty much a no-no after such a procedure?
Message Thread:
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This response
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Going in for my first (and way overdue) colonoscopy next Monday
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timmer
January 15, 2024, 17:21:15
Update: Colon biopsies are negative. Come back again in 5 years*
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timmer
January 26, 2024, 10:14:30
Yay! You're stuck putting up with my shenanigans even longer*
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Taz
January 26, 2024, 10:22:01
Came out clean. No polyps.
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EffinIllini
January 22, 2024, 17:10:50
So I suppose 4 isn’t a good number*
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timmer
January 22, 2024, 17:26:18
I had two or three my first colonoscopy. Next two have been clean*
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gvibes
January 22, 2024, 23:35:49
It’s better than 42 (at least in this case).
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DocWalk20
January 22, 2024, 19:09:01
It doesn't really matter. What matters is the type.
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Stu
January 22, 2024, 18:47:48
This*
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OWWDig
January 22, 2024, 20:33:24
Not great, Bob.
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Tuscy
January 22, 2024, 18:34:09
Don't freak him out. He'll be fine. This is exactly the reason you get your butt scoped.*
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complainant
January 22, 2024, 18:44:27
For the 2 I've had, I took "Super Bowel Prep"...and was bummed it had nothing to do with football*
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RSMBob
January 22, 2024, 15:38:55
Surprised they could call it that…
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SurfTheBoneyard
January 22, 2024, 15:50:06
Pics aren't working for me but it's actually Suprep Bowel Prep Kit
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RSMBob
January 22, 2024, 17:13:04
2 babies born since I’ve been waiting.*
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EffinIllini
January 22, 2024, 14:44:52
Maybe you should ask if they've got you in the right room.*
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complainant
January 22, 2024, 14:50:51
A lullaby comes over the intercom every time a baby is born.
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EffinIllini
January 22, 2024, 17:09:50
I hate to break it to you, but that lullaby typically isn’t played right when the baby is born, but
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DocWalk20
January 22, 2024, 19:07:41
Well, duh, I figured that.
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EffinIllini
January 22, 2024, 22:24:05
Throw I hope your surgery goes/went great.
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nash
January 22, 2024, 9:55:29
co-sign. prayers up for quick healing*
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OWWDig
January 22, 2024, 11:40:25
Checked in at 6am CT, out the door by 8:15am
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timmer
January 22, 2024, 9:37:37
You'll be back in 3-5 years for a repeat. All depending on what the polyps are.
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ibdoc
January 22, 2024, 10:22:21
Nice. I've just been bumped back at least an hour.
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EffinIllini
January 22, 2024, 10:12:05
That’s the worst.*
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timmer
January 22, 2024, 10:13:49
Moved up to 1PM.
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EffinIllini
January 22, 2024, 12:30:12
Sounds like it is time for chicken wings and big beers. *
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harb
January 22, 2024, 9:55:20
Congratulations. You have just survived colon cancer.
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complainant
January 22, 2024, 9:49:26
nm
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timmer
January 22, 2024, 9:37:37
Lost just 2.5lbs*
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timmer
January 22, 2024, 4:48:48
Lost 4.6 lbs so far.
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EffinIllini
January 22, 2024, 8:12:59
You won't need them. But, hypothetically, if you make a breakfast burrito the first morning after
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longsnapper
January 22, 2024, 9:57:47
Ha*
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EffinIllini
January 22, 2024, 10:12:33
So fvcking hungry *
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timmer
January 21, 2024, 17:25:44
Have you hit the butt pee and chapped asshole part yet? If not, you’ll forget about the hunger soon*
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ibdoc
January 21, 2024, 18:32:32
Chapped butt averted. Getting less green, more pale yellow*
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timmer
January 21, 2024, 19:28:19
nm*
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timmer
January 21, 2024, 19:28:19
We’re having deep dish pizza*
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bbonb
January 21, 2024, 17:59:55
The Detroit pizza shown during the game looked awesome.
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EffinIllini
January 21, 2024, 18:03:43
I had amazing Detroit pizza in Portland on Saturday*
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Sounder
January 22, 2024, 8:06:03
Describe the layers, slowly*
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timmer
January 21, 2024, 18:00:45
Best wishes to you. Clean bill of health *
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bbonb
January 21, 2024, 19:30:31
Just had some chicken noodle casserole. It was pretty good. Didn’t take a pic. *
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harb
January 21, 2024, 17:56:53
If the Jersey Mike’s ads during the Buttgers game didn’t move my needle, nothing will*
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timmer
January 21, 2024, 18:00:20
Have some fvcking jello*
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Stu
January 21, 2024, 17:48:28
And so it begins….
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timmer
January 21, 2024, 7:04:19
4 Ducalax down.
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EffinIllini
January 21, 2024, 10:19:53
Oddly, I’m not to start until 2pm*
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timmer
January 21, 2024, 10:30:03
Game on*
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EffinIllini
January 21, 2024, 12:02:28
4pm. When does the shitting begin?*
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timmer
January 21, 2024, 14:55:46
Just downed my last glass of Gatorade - Miralax mix.
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EffinIllini
January 21, 2024, 17:33:23
Me, too. My butt pee is getting less opaque with every loo visit*
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timmer
January 21, 2024, 17:59:26
This play by play is not really all that appealing. *
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harb
January 21, 2024, 18:00:43
Pics of the deep dish or it didn’t happen*
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timmer
January 21, 2024, 18:01:35
That’s was bonor. *
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harb
January 21, 2024, 18:02:39
Sorry. People and food are blurry to me now. *
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timmer
January 21, 2024, 18:03:25
As odd as this thread is, it has been a great PSA for the ever-aging male Deuce population*
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RSMBob
January 19, 2024, 11:57:55
This is what we have come to. Toilet Bowl I for shits and grins.
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SurfTheBoneyard
January 21, 2024, 17:55:59
ooo
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EffinIllini
January 21, 2024, 19:31:15
It's also a PSA that people here have gotten boring as shit
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Stu
January 21, 2024, 7:10:00
Odd in that timmer started it?
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timmer
January 19, 2024, 12:45:30
The chicks are aging too, bro*
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Jackie
January 19, 2024, 12:10:09
get the sboob squished. message is the same - Get your screenings everyone*
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OWWDig
January 19, 2024, 12:16:28
We also have colons
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Jackie
January 19, 2024, 12:19:23
for sure. again, I'm an all inclusive pro-screener. Currently wearing a blue rubber bracelet
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OWWDig
January 19, 2024, 12:27:26
...slowly
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IlliniSax05
January 19, 2024, 12:17:56
Not so major update:
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timmer
January 19, 2024, 11:33:39
I haven't gotten the call yet for my appointment time. Yours sounds ideal.*
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EffinIllini
January 19, 2024, 11:41:30
Dammit. 1:30 PM Arrival & ~4 PM Discharge.
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EffinIllini
January 19, 2024, 12:02:30
Oh there will be many more discharges.*
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SurfTheBoneyard
January 21, 2024, 17:54:57
Oh that’s cruel. I report 740 Wednesday, procedure at 915 or something (nm)
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Jack McMurdo
January 21, 2024, 14:56:02
Go buy a bunch of not red candy and Jello. You'll be fine.
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complainant
January 19, 2024, 12:23:23
send pictures*=
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memyselfandillini
January 16, 2024, 20:43:20
Do yourself a favor: don’t eat meat the day before your prep.
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opossum jenkins
January 16, 2024, 17:17:29
Also, buy Vaseline and start using before prep. Slick anus is a good thing*
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longsnapper
January 17, 2024, 7:54:59
Also, lots and lots of extra baby/wet wipes
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Blazer
January 17, 2024, 3:34:49
ooo
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complainant
January 17, 2024, 4:00:49
Can’t wait until I weigh myself that morning of the colonoscopy*
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timmer
January 16, 2024, 17:29:18
oooo
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Blazer
January 17, 2024, 3:34:25
getting put under is almost worth all of the hassle. it's so great*
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cpsteine
January 16, 2024, 15:30:51
Already 2 down. Cosign everyone here, prep is the worst part.
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KingTalkyTiki
January 16, 2024, 12:18:45
I get called on Friday with the time of my appointment.
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EffinIllini
January 16, 2024, 14:21:20
It's not terrible to be later, and in my experience they try to get them done in the morning...
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KingTalkyTiki
January 16, 2024, 15:12:45
Yeah, the meal after a colonoscopy is one of the greatest meals of your life
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Sounder
January 16, 2024, 17:29:19
The horror story is my Dad - although he's in his 70s and had never had one.
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GMAW
January 16, 2024, 9:58:44
....but not full blown cancer?
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IlliniRunner
January 16, 2024, 12:20:05
nm
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KingTalkyTiki
January 16, 2024, 12:17:44
Did my first last year. No big deal... just one day of Super Colon Blow in advance.*
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uofi1998
January 16, 2024, 9:56:44
The process is completely overblown (no pun intended)*
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Sounder
January 16, 2024, 11:01:38
Good luck to all getting their butts probed in the near future!*
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Phytynlini
January 16, 2024, 9:53:45
Stop! We have reached the limits of what anal probing can teach us*
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Jackie
January 16, 2024, 10:09:05
AMazing how the times have changed on this board (and former iterations)*
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RSMBob
January 16, 2024, 9:53:07
I like how people here make fun of old people, like they all aren't just on the brink*
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Stu
January 16, 2024, 10:06:45
I've always hated old people and thought they were completely worthless
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Sounder
January 16, 2024, 10:59:46
Bleak. *
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haighter
January 16, 2024, 12:08:00
Brink? Dude we ARE old*
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Jackie
January 16, 2024, 10:11:38
It's funny how time is different when you get older
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Sounder
January 16, 2024, 11:01:00
'member when decades had their own distinctive feel?
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Sammich
January 16, 2024, 12:16:28
I totally had that same thought a few weeks ago*
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illini21
January 17, 2024, 7:57:21
Yeah, I agree, anything since Y2K
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Sounder
January 16, 2024, 14:26:31
I dunno...maybe cause it was RIGHT AFTER COLLEGE for me...
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haighter
January 16, 2024, 15:10:21
Corporate world sucking the life out of you. Also the government for some*
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CubsWonWorldSeries
January 16, 2024, 11:43:25
I was just out of grad school when I first started posting. My kid will have her grad school...
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EffinIllini
January 16, 2024, 9:58:39
You went to grad school?
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CubsWonWorldSeries
January 16, 2024, 10:10:39
Yep.
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EffinIllini
January 16, 2024, 10:21:46
Right? I started posting on the first Illiniboard when I was in law school
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GMAW
January 16, 2024, 9:55:56
Good thread. I just scheduled my first this morning as a result of this thread*
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GMAW
January 16, 2024, 9:47:56
Awesome! Glad to hear it*
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OWWDig
January 16, 2024, 9:52:38
I think I'm due for round 3 sometime in the next year*
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RSMBob
January 16, 2024, 9:51:48
FYI. Recommendations (and insurance coverage) is now 45 yo for it.
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ibdoc
January 16, 2024, 9:27:17
My brother did cologuard at age 46
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CubsWonWorldSeries
January 16, 2024, 10:11:43
yep, recently got a referral. need to get it setup*
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shua
January 16, 2024, 9:38:51
The 22nd? We're virgin colonoscopy buddies! (gross)
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EffinIllini
January 16, 2024, 9:22:41
Dots
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Phytynlini
January 16, 2024, 9:51:44
Also, I have a Saturday night beer drinking fundraiser event.
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EffinIllini
January 16, 2024, 9:41:43
For me, the prep was really awful. Not the same for everyone. I had to drink magnesium and it made
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Taz
January 16, 2024, 9:27:42
As someone who despises fasting, the Costco chicken bone broth was key to my prep day
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ZahRule
January 16, 2024, 10:16:11
Whatever they give me is vile. Since my doc is at Siteman Cancer Clinic in St. Louis area, I book...
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Tuscy
January 16, 2024, 9:52:21
The stuff I had to drink was vile*
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bjl63
January 16, 2024, 9:42:24
I take 4 Dulcolax tablets and mix Miralax with 64 oz of Gatorade ...
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EffinIllini
January 16, 2024, 9:37:49
I did the jug, drank 8 ounces every 10 minutes for an hour plus. It wasn't bad at all.
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longsnapper
January 16, 2024, 9:51:14
I did the miralax & sutab prep
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IlliniSax05
January 16, 2024, 9:46:44
Think that’s the one I did this most recent scope. Prob the best of the three I’ve had
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Jackie
January 16, 2024, 9:44:05
That's what I had to do to prep. Really simple.
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Illiniphil
January 16, 2024, 9:44:01
Ha. That's the flavor I was going to go with.*
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EffinIllini
January 16, 2024, 9:45:25
Got to do Colaguard this first time - yay me! *
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aimlessillini
January 16, 2024, 8:58:41
PSA regarding Cologuard-if it comes back positive, you'll be on the hook for the cost of your....
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Illiniphil
January 16, 2024, 9:12:05
You COULD be. I wasn’t.*
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Stu
January 16, 2024, 11:40:46
Wow that's wild. I haven't paid a cent for any of the many diagnostic mammogram and ultrasounds
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Taz
January 16, 2024, 9:21:05
I got one of those kits from my doc, but I'm wary
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Sammich
January 16, 2024, 9:07:23
Hate to tell you. But you can go in for a screening colonoscopy and have it turn into a diagnostic/
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DocWalk20
January 16, 2024, 20:16:04
^^^this^^^
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Illiniphil
January 16, 2024, 9:16:37
Had my first one in October at 53
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bjl63
January 16, 2024, 8:47:33
Next Wednesday for me. Yay (nm)
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Jack McMurdo
January 16, 2024, 8:35:40
I’d had blood in my stool 2-3 times a year….went in Nov 2022
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TarheelIllini
January 16, 2024, 6:58:42
I’m the same. Way overdue and still need to schedule this year. Had to wait to get a new doc here
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ATL
January 16, 2024, 6:11:03
I need to get off my ass and do this too. I’m about 49 and still haven’t done it.*
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voiceofreason
January 15, 2024, 22:09:52
Please do!*
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OWWDig
January 15, 2024, 22:11:05
i'm looking at three days in hospital.... then pathology report. yes do it *
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Throwsize
January 15, 2024, 23:12:24
I’m sorry, man. *
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OWWDig
January 16, 2024, 1:31:51
What symptoms compelled you to go?*
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complainant
January 15, 2024, 23:42:21
I had no symptoms. Did my 1st colonoscopy and boom - stage 3b cancer.
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OWWDig
January 16, 2024, 1:33:23
I also had no symptoms
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Tooldresser
January 16, 2024, 6:12:55
I had a trace of blood in a stool.
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Tuscy
January 16, 2024, 6:44:52
there are a lot of people with colon cancer on this board*
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Tooldresser
January 16, 2024, 7:40:57
Unfortunately, it’s a pretty common disease. Fortunately, it’s beatable if caught early enough.*
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OWWDig
January 16, 2024, 8:32:39
i didn't have any symptoms. i was overdue.
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Throwsize
January 16, 2024, 0:01:15
Wow. What's the current status of your kidneys?*
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complainant
January 16, 2024, 0:03:16
current state is: fucked *
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Throwsize
January 16, 2024, 0:05:52
dialysis?*
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complainant
January 16, 2024, 0:07:13
yeah. horrible i fucking hate it *
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Throwsize
January 16, 2024, 0:22:50
Jesus. Sorry to hear it, throw. *
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VIV
January 16, 2024, 14:25:06
Effing A man. I'm so sorry.*
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KingTalkyTiki
January 16, 2024, 12:20:32
Eff that, sorry dude :( *
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Jackie
January 16, 2024, 9:49:02
Oh. That sucks. mrs. Effin is a dietitian at the local Davita clinic.
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EffinIllini
January 16, 2024, 9:31:21
uh huh. It USED to be ok. Speaking as someone with first hand knowledge of dialysis
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Stu
January 16, 2024, 10:09:17
Damn dude that's a lot to deal with. Positive thoughts and prayers to you*
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Taz
January 16, 2024, 9:22:03
Sorry to hear this.
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Illiniphil
January 16, 2024, 8:58:54
Sorry, throw. This sucks.
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GMAW
January 16, 2024, 8:49:10
Shit. Sorry, man. *
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bjl63
January 16, 2024, 8:45:57
Met a coworker last night here in Oakland
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TarheelIllini
January 16, 2024, 8:42:44
FYI, he’s based in GA*
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TarheelIllini
January 16, 2024, 8:43:25
Oh man. This is awful. I’m so sorry (nm)
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Jack McMurdo
January 16, 2024, 8:37:07
Dialysis center? At home?
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timmer
January 16, 2024, 7:53:18
fuck. sorry throw.*
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Nobster
January 16, 2024, 6:42:40
oh man; sorry to hear this*
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suburbanmyth
January 16, 2024, 1:34:08
Oof. Transplant eligible?*
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complainant
January 16, 2024, 0:36:53
take care of yourself *
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biclops
January 15, 2024, 23:16:09
I didn’t truly understand the term “butt pee” until I finished my prep.
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ibdoc
January 15, 2024, 21:59:18
I currently have a GI virus that's basically colonoscopy prep.
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Illiniphil
January 16, 2024, 9:05:13
Now you get to deal with chapped asshole. I swear I was an effing baboon with a red butt*
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ibdoc
January 16, 2024, 9:25:52
I shit my pants when I had swine flu, and when I had Covid.
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Jack McMurdo
January 16, 2024, 8:39:31
tmi*
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jjlocke923
January 16, 2024, 8:45:26
The prep is the worst part. Procedure itself is piece of cake--best nap I've ever had*
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Blazer
January 15, 2024, 22:08:26
The butt peeing, for me, wasn't near as bad as not eating*
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bjl63
January 16, 2024, 8:45:14
This man speaks truth *
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Jackie
January 16, 2024, 9:50:35
Yep, first time made the mistake of coaching a baseball practice a few hours after the first prep...
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RSMBob
January 15, 2024, 23:39:36
Skating to the crease and he felt a big release…
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SurfTheBoneyard
January 16, 2024, 8:02:37
Sliding into third and you thought it was a turd...*
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Phytynlini
January 16, 2024, 9:19:11
Heading to the net and he felt something wet.*
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SurfTheBoneyard
January 16, 2024, 11:55:37
agree, though I had an anesthesia “hangover” for a good chunk of hours after *
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biclops
January 15, 2024, 23:11:59
My procedure was at 8am and I was home working by 11, like an idiot
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bjl63
January 16, 2024, 15:06:31
and some wicked ass farts*
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biclops
January 15, 2024, 23:12:19
and a desire to eat all the pizza*
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biclops
January 15, 2024, 23:20:50
My procedure was early morning
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Blazer
January 15, 2024, 23:37:16
This*
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UofIL6
January 15, 2024, 22:10:46
Yeah it really depends on how much the prep affects him, I think*
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Taz
January 15, 2024, 22:07:47
It's more about the fentanyl.*
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complainant
January 15, 2024, 22:53:57
As a colon cancer survivor, I’m happy you’re doing this. I hope all you
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OWWDig
January 15, 2024, 21:51:59
Yeah no chance*
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cpsteine
January 15, 2024, 21:48:53
I mean, if he sleeps from 10 to 6, then has a cup of coffee ...
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complainant
January 15, 2024, 22:52:24
good luck. i put it off due to the other bullshit i've been dealing with
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Throwsize
January 15, 2024, 20:34:54
kick it the the ass Throw. good vibes*
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memyselfandillini
January 16, 2024, 20:45:43
Yikes. Good luck.*
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EffinIllini
January 16, 2024, 9:24:09
Best of luck man. *
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ATL
January 16, 2024, 6:09:31
I hope that goes well for you. *
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larue33
January 15, 2024, 21:54:58
thank you *
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Throwsize
January 15, 2024, 23:00:07
No, it’s mandatory*
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Stu
January 15, 2024, 17:44:12
Yes
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IlliniSax05
January 15, 2024, 17:26:07
But it’s the first round of the playoffs*
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timmer
January 15, 2024, 21:09:39
Should have planned better
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IlliniSax05
January 15, 2024, 21:38:17
Searching